AMAZING news: the Reproductive Freedom Act in Ohio has now officially been CERTIFIED to be on the ballot in this November’s election. It gathered 495,938 signatures from 55 counties across Ohio. Republicans messed around & women & young people will make them find out.
Okay, but Ohioans need to get the fuck to the polls for our special election on August 8th!!! The Republican fucks are trying to change our simple majority necessary for amendments to 60%. The Columbus Dispatch says “Issue 1 is one of the most significant questions Ohio voters will be asked in generations,” and that’s no exaggeration. Get out there, and vote no. Early voting and absentee ballot requests are still going on, if you are registered to vote!
We gotta vote no on issue 1 in Ohio on August 8th, 2023.
Republican Secretary of State Frank LaRose admitted last month “[Issue 1] is 100% about keeping a radical, pro-abortion amendment out of our constitution.”
Cyclops gets such a rough deal man. imagine having brain damage that caused you to uncontrollably shoot laser blasts out of your eyeballs destroying everything in sight that you had to worry about literally 24/7 and also you had to supervise teenagers throwing cars at each other because your father figure and his ex are taking leftist infighting to the streets and also on top of that whenever you show any amount of concern over this situation people are like “jeez what a buzzkill. loosen up control freak. why can’t you be all chill and cool like wolverine” meanwhile wolverine is having his amygdala forcibly removed by the us military for the third time this month
Imagine being a young superhero and newly-minted member of the Justice League. You’ve got a monitor shift with Superman, who you know as an invincible alien demigod who lives at the North Pole. You’re nervous about spending time with him—what do you even have in common with him? What could you even talk about?
And then shortly into monitor duty he casually mentions
his
WIFE???
“I was driving my son to preschool this morning—“
ARE THERE PRESCHOOLS AT THE NORTH POLE, SUPERMAN?
AND WHY WERE YOU DRIVING, FLYING MAN?
You start the shift thinking that Superman is this inhuman messiah-like figure who watches humanity from on high and has no human connections and then you spend the next hour steadily getting more flabbergasted as he tells you about how his six-year-old headbutted him in the nuts this morning before school and invulnerable toddler plus invulnerable nuts means actual pain and you’re just like “what the FUUUUUU—“
At one point Batman wanders in all brooding and Superman perks up and goes, “hey Bruce! How was the Parent-Teacher Conference?”
Batman has a name? His name is Bruce? He goes to PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCES?
(Batman replies, in the most tired dad™️ voice you’ve ever heard, “Damian tried to stab his chemistry teacher again.”)
Apparently it is not a coincidence that JLA and PTA sound so similar.
The Fair Folk: “I can’t believe this. Twenty years I’ve cleaned your house and you DARE to try to REPAY me with GIFTS. This is such an insult. Fuck you, you insolent humans. I’m leaving here and never returning because you have insulted me so deeply.”
Also the Fair Folk: “Remember that one time you pulled a thorn out of a cat’s foot? That was me. To show my gratitude, here is a house made of solid gold, a life-debt, my daughter’s hand in marriage, and a promise that all your children will be gorgeous and successful at all that they do. I can also throw in a blow job if you want. I hope this is enough. I don’t want to seem ungrateful.”
ALT
